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confederate_1's Alternate History Webpage

Political Jokes

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Senior Citizen Letter to President Bush I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes. His government gave me a great deal of freedom. Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the worse. I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I lost my homes and my freedom of action. As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me they arrested me. I will do anything to assure President Bush's defeat in the next election. I will do anything to assure that Senator Kerry or whatever Democratic candidate is back in the White House next year, as I know they will make life much easier for myself and my friends. Bush has to go. I just thought you and your listeners would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. Sincerely, Saddam Hussein

Taliban Soldiers

A large group of lingering Taliban soldiers is moving down a road when they hear a voice from behind a sand dune:

"One U.S. Special Forces soldier is better than 10 Taliban!"

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun battle erupts, then silence.

The voice then calls out, "One U.S. Special Forces soldier is better than 100 Taliban!"

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and, instantly, a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The American voice calls out once more, "One U.S. Special Forces soldier is better than 1,000 Taliban!"

The enraged Taliban Commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannons, rockets and machine guns ring out as a huge battle rages. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and, with his dying words, tells his commander, "Don't send any more men! It's a trap - there are two of them!"

You know why Euro Disney isn't doing too well?
Because when they set off the nightly fireworks,
the French try to surrender.

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